Up above and all...

A self confessed Agnostic, I sometimes do find it really necessary to have a "fall back" mechanism, to feel that sometimes things are beyond your control, things will fall into place as necessary and as appropriate and things do happen as per the plan charted out for us and that someone up above is dictating terms. Sure, I have experienced something close to being a miracle, realised that there is power in a sincere prayer. There have been things that have not worked for you for your own good, you realize it as the days go by but who is helping you make it not work.. I wonder.. I have been involved in many a discussion about this, people have talked about everything in this world being a result of a probability of being in a certain situation at a certain time but who is dictating the outcome of that probability ??

I am surely not talking about religion here, I am a Hindu , have studied in what you can call a staunch Hindu institution and in fact did most part of my education in Christian institutions', have grown up with friends who are Muslims (some of my best friends are Muslims), I enjoy singing "Om Jai Jagdish Hare" and Ayyapan padi pattu with the same fervour as singing "Showers of blessing". I have celebrated Diwali at home with my non-Hindu friends for as long as I can remember and I have been part of Ramzan and Xmas celebrations with my friends as long as I can remember as well. I go to the temple more often but I do like attending masses at the Church, The principles of different religions to me is fascinating, deep down they all preach the same goodness. But we end up sticking to the religion we are born with more often because we do not want to displace the God's that we grew up with and are taught to believe in with due respect to all religions. I do not want to delve into religion fanatism as thats something I have tried so hard to understand but I can never figure that one out.

If everything that happens to us is because of what we are and is a result of how much work you put into, why are each of us born so different with capabilities so different? Why do some people have to work so hard to achieve that, when there are other people who get the same thing done, maybe more efficiently with just about little effort. What about our natural capabilities, people born with disabilities, who is responsible for that? You cannot decide whether your child can be a boy or a girl, sure that is a result of a probability, so are so many other things that happen to us. The easiest way out is to believe that there is something thats controlling the outcome of these probabilities and if we can't believe in that, we sure won't believe in miracles, to me expecting miracles is HOPE and I cannot live without it. I have experienced it,so will everybody in their lives at some point, it could be as small as getting a 45 in an Engineering subject when you really think you would not make it.

All said and done, I do believe in Karma, or whatever you can call that, that if you feel or do something that is going to hurt someone else, it is going to go all around and come back to you in this very same life.. (I don't think in this world where everything is "instant", you are going to feel the effect in your next birth.. even the cause-effect principles follow "instant" gratification)..

St.Louis Part II

[There is a Part I which I haven't written about, it was my first trip to the US, I would still think Part I was more exciting and I literally lived life like there was no tomorrow, I will save that for some other time]

I am going to India in another two weeks, after a year and half on a two and half week vacation, the excitement is just beginning to kick in, I will be home for Diwali, to say am thrilled would just be an understatement. As I was trying to get the suitcases out to get started on packing, I was just thinking about how life has been for me, this last one and half years.

Being on the wrong side of 25 years 150 days, you are bound to have met people from all cross-sections of society, changing your perspective about life. I have been so lucky for the kind of people I have met and have grown to be friends with in St.Louis, staying away from home for long can take a toll on you sometimes, I must say that I have never felt homesick (barring a few odd moments here and there), life always has been exciting, I never really had the time to sit back and think. Those friday night movies, impromptu shopping getaways, In-a-minute lunch and dinner plans, after work parties, mini trips to places around here, my personal favorite being the potlucks (reason: anything and everything) fun unlimited, food limited :).

Work life has just been great (I would not prefer to talk about the not so great part of it), I have got to work with some amazing people, people who have been around even when computers were worked with punch cards, learnt some priceless lessons, technical and otherwise. Well there have been days when I have had to go without my regular quota of sleep, but well I can discount that, for part of work is what is challenging and exciting and keeps you up without getting bored about the work you are doing.

Onto my favorite part, traveling and activities:

A get-together with friends from college is a regular and is something I look forward to, we usually meet once every 3 months and I come back all exhausted and tired after laughing incessantly and having a great time :)

Las Vegas and Grand Canyon: I loved it more the second time, cos this time we stayed overnight in the Canyon, watched the sun set and sun rise, an experience of a lifetime. Watched the circue de soleil show and gambled like crazy.

Tampa : Beach house party, jet skiing and parasailing, what a trip it was :)

Dallas and Austin: A very casual and chilled out trip, played paint ball for the first time..

Seattle : One trip where every one of my friends from college who were in the US made it, it was memorable for more reasons than one, my first camping experience..

This is the only major road trip that I was on and probably my only big trip with people from St.Louis, the Breckenridge- Colarado trip.

This trip needs a very special mention, It was my first road trip, with so many new people I was just getting to know, about 21 of us, 4 days. I decided to be a part of the party at the very last minute and am so glad I decided to go. My first experience with the snow, skiing and snow mobiling in Breckenridge is an experience that I would treasure, though I kept falling all over the place, it was still fun. Those wooden log cabins and amazing people, a perfect thanks giving retreat..

And a trip to SFO and Yosemite with friends who joined work with me, we were in the same induction batch.. I just loved the place..

Not to forget, the number of trips to Chicago (I have actually lost count of it).

But alas, still New York is on the list, yay I finally made plans for it, first weekend of 2008... :)

Attended some great live concerts: Aerosmith, Kadri Gopalnath, Sonu Nigam (St.Louis), AR Rahman and Linkin Park (Chicago).

Wasted many a 10 dollars on watching those Hindi movies almost every other Friday.. but watching Sivaji made up for it, well almost.. :)

Learnt a few lessons on the guitar, learnt swimming, became more fitness conscious( more like since I now pay for it at the YMCA, I better make best use of it) read a whole lot of books (the St.louis county library is my favorite place around where I stay, its an amazing place, I can spend hours together and not realize how the time goes by until someone tell me its time to close the library), got addicted to watching movies and sitcoms (long live blockbuster)..

Staying away from home on your own has its own way of teaching you lessons, and what have I learnt, I can say with certainty that I have learnt a lifetime's worth :)

And now am looking forward to going to Chennai, spending time with my parents and sister(I miss her like crazy) and friends who I haven't gotten to meet in a long time and a friend's wedding too... will be there for two and half weeks and have already planned something for everyday and a little tad disappointed that I will not be able to watch Dasavatharam(they have postponed the release now) and plays from the chennai theatre scene( looks like the chennai theatre scene is off the whole of November :( ) and before St.Louis gets to hear the last of me, I will be right back :)